And the go(o)d man that promised a career

A draft! That’s 1 of the most common words used in software world these days. Ask a guy to send you a document, and he sends you a “draft” for review. Ask someone to send you a list of test cases, and they send you a “draft” for review. Why a draft? Why not the fully completed version? I think that’s because of the myth… It’s ok if a draft document is wrong, but it’s not ok if a completed document is wrong. And since that’s our official rule of engagement, I am going to call this week’s journal an “official draft edition”!

Last month, I told you about how “Iknowitall” promised me a promotion in the “Corruption” series. This month, believe it or not, God promised me a promotion! This time, it was a different person that promised me a good hike (or a “god” hike)!  I felt this was another indirect “not unknown” brand of corruption. This is what happened…

Dear readers, I introduce you to – “Iamgod”.  He’s a god man. He practices his “god”ness all over India and has a lot of followers. From prime ministers to serial killers, from movie stars to porn stars, from army heads to terrorists, most of them become his disciples since they claim to see the god in him. And there happens to be a devotee gang in “Ele Info systems” that follow this guy. All of them are his disciples. There are vice-presidents; there are senior directors who are a part of his outfit (his “disciples”) who work in “Ele Info systems”.

All the disciples of “Iamgod” would need to wear a saffron dress on all Fridays and would need to fast on Friday afternoons. With this dress code, it becomes very easy for one member of this cult outfit to identify another member. This meant that when members of the same outfit watch out for their own… If there’s a promotion, an onsite opportunity, more money, then over time, it becomes very obvious that with a devotee at the helm, another devotee gets the reward. How does this work? This is how…

7 Steps to Success

STEP 1: Any ambitious person just needs to enroll himself as a devotee of “Iamgod”. They can do this on their website, on their prayer centers and at any other places.

STEP 2: Once he “enrolls” himself as a devotee, he would need to start attending prayers.

STEP 3: Once he starts attending prayers on Fridays, the devotee tells the god man about his dreams and what companies that he wants to work on, as a part of “prayer”

STEP 4: “Iamgod” has very well established teams (or gang leaders) that periodically go through a list of needs from his devotees. They look at the lists of who wants a job and a promotion, etc.

TEP 5: Then, these devotees (or gang leaders) reach out to the concerned companies and seek out their “devotees” in such companies. They tell their devotees in top positions that “Baba Guru wants you to give a job to this person. It’s his wish and this would take the company forward by a long way”. And what not!

STEP 6: The devotee gets the job in a company of his choice… or a promotion. He keeps attending these Friday evening prayers and grows his network in the company.

STEP 7: Over time, he gets well connected to all crucial functions of the company. And he becomes an integral part of the company. He grows “Iamgod” devotees in the company, and he himself grows. Due to his devotion of “Iamgod”, he becomes a vice-president in quick time. “All the god’s blessings”, he says!

What’s the connection between a god man and software testing? Well, my friend “Smartdude”, who’s a devotee, won the “BEST SOFTWARE TESTER OF THE YEAR” award by doing all of the above. He also got a promotion. By that way, I thought it’s relevant so that any aspiring testers can follow the above route to success. Become a devotee of a god man, seek his devotees in the organization, attach yourself to them and keep growing up the ladder. Last I heard, “Iamgod” was also able to convince clients to give additional business to his devotee’s .What a scam!

One more fake testing practice for all of us to practice. I’ve heard that birds of the same feather flock together. But this was the first time that I was seeing it… And I am convinced that this certainly is not the last time that I’d be seeing this.

Fake Software TesterA Fake Tester's DiaryFake Tester,Fake Tester's DiaryAnd the go(o)d man that promised a career A draft! That's 1 of the most common words used in software world these days. Ask a guy to send you a document, and he sends you a 'draft' for review. Ask someone to send you a list of test cases, and...
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Fake Software Tester

What has this author achieved in testing? This author has tested more than a million lines of code and has logged more than a billion defects; He has reviewed other test cases and found at least a trillion missing test cases and has coached his peers to log more than a quadrillion bugs; He has talked more than a Quintillion words while participating in triage meetings and he has been a part of sextillion arguments convincing the developer of the bugs. He has done good researching on septillion testing conferences; every day, he has Octillion thoughts that come to his mind on the problems that plague the world of software testing. He has selected Nonillion testers from his Decillion testing interviews and has unsuccessfully attempted to coach Undecillion testers about testing. His writings are followed by DuoDecillion readers and the comments on his blog are more than Tredecillion; he has answered Quattuordecillion questions on testing in various forums. And by the way, like the monthly columns, the above contains Quindecillion amounts of exaggeration on what I have done so far in my life.

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