Funny Astrology
Funny Astrology

Funny: Tester’s Astrology 2015

Aries (March 20 – April 18)
Tester in you makes you a stickler to quality. You may have to undertake a Test in Soft Skills in Testing. Cover the mouse you use at your workplace with a yellow cloth while testing a mobile app. During the first half of the year, you will be prescribed to take energy tablets. Take care of your belongings during travel back home from office.
Lucky animal: Cat
Tool to use: TestLink – Manage your tests during odd days and even months.

Taurus (April 19 – May 19)
Fill your closest colleague’s mind with testing techniques used on spacecrafts. Circle seven times around your workstation in anti-clockwise direction every time before you sit to write test cases. Presumably, you will be selected to select new candidates to join your company. Drink green tea during weekends.
Lucky animal: Porcupine
Tool to use: Grinder – Make sure you stay grounded.

Gemini (May 20 – June 20)
The secret of your success lies in your handling the toughest team member. You will find peace at home. Try testing an eBook reader on full moon days. Have you paid all your credit card bills? If not, this is the right time. You may have to play a clown in your company’s family fest. Take your pet along with you where ever you go.
Lucky animal: Yak
Tool to use: Sahi – Just the right tool for you this year.

Cancer (June 21 – July 21)
Bring your creativity to the forefront. Plan to share a testing secret hitherto unknown to the testing fraternity. You will be considered for a key post which you must decline. Eat lot of nuts for the whole month of February. Your valentine will test your patience. Your stubborn character will rub your seniors the wrong way.
Lucky animal: Lizard
Tool to use: Jmeter – Load your ideas to perform better.

Leo (July 22 – August 21)
Love thy neighbors as they will come to your rescue during monkey testing. Let go your ego and continue your good work on breaking the applications. Go ahead and ask for an increment in licenses of the functional testing tool. You will gain a lot from the Developers. Put baby steps when you go for a review meeting.
Lucky animal: Kangaroo
Tool to use: Selenium – Enjoy moments of every functionality.

Virgo (August 22 – September 21)
You will suffer from dust allergy if you do not dust out the bugs out of the application. Wear pink socks to work. Test only those functionalities which have no business logic. Try not to argue with your peers during lunch time else you may suffer from indigestion. Your mindset about test data will change soon after your promotion.
Lucky animal: Donkey
Tool to use: Bugzilla – Grow the bug list with good bug reports.

Libra (September 22 – October 22)
Negative testing should be done under adult supervision. Your ability to work after office hours will be not be highly appreciated. Invoke blessings of Bats when ever you have a customer call. Hang on with your current job till the year end. There are indications about a virus attack on the application you tested. Give free gifts to your friends.
Lucky animal: Python
Tool to use: Watir – Get the taste of testing.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 20)
Beware of testers who are single and ready to mingle. Have faith in your reopened bugs. Give a presentation on any testing topic in your company. Your dream of becoming a security tester comes true this December. Welcome your client with broad shoulders. Fear of performance testing results will bother you.
Lucky animal: Chameleon
Tool to use: Jameleon – Change the color of testing.

Sagittarius (November 21 – December 20)
Your sagging fortunes start looking up now. Believe it or not but your belief in testing tools increases. You will make inroads into the hearts of all those who matter to you. It is a matter of time before you lay your hands on your pay cheque/check. Never allow an ant to run over your left leg to avoid injuries.
Lucky animal: Elephant
Tool to use: Cantata – Test the units and say cheers.

Capricorn (December 21 – January 19)
You will be asked many questions by your team on priorities. Be prepared for a surprise during the month of fools. You must focus on your work rather than others’ work. Manage testing projects with more efficiency and productivity. A frail old woman will send you a friend request. Accept it as she may be your next boss.
Lucky animal: Monkey
Tool to use: Madcow – Shed your inhibition and use the tool.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You will use social media throughout the year. What looks like a good offer may turn out to be a dud. Increase your testing duration to look busy. Money comes to you easily at the automated teller machines. Be specific to your customer about your role in the project. Some of you may use an out dated automation tool and lose money.
Lucky animal: Slender Loris
Tool to use: Canoo WebTest – As smooth as sailing on water.

Pisces (February 19 – March 19)
Do not hit the enter key hard as the keyboard dust could affect the web application. Enjoy life as it comes. Make sure the process you follow is compliant to the company’s quality policy. You will do an U turn in your responsibilities. All the twelve months, you will be busy in your work. Trim your nails on Sundays.
Lucky animal: Camel
Tool to use: SilkTest – Weave your magic in testing.

Disclaimer: TASTRO is purely a work of fiction. The author respects astrology in its original form. The Testing Circus team and the author wishes all testers from all sun signs a great year ahead.

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Rrajesh Barde

Rrajesh Barde is an independent quality assurance and Cyber Laws consultant. He is an author, critic, foodie, counselor, blogger (http://bugburji.blogspot.com) and twitter enthusiast (@rrajeshbarde). He has several whitepapers to his credit including a whitepaper published and presented at an International Conference.